Elephants in the Room (and Crocodiles)

Originally posted 2013-09-30 15:05:59.

They’re the elephants in the room, where relations between transwomen and men are concerned.

Almost without exception, the assertion is made that the men who like transwomen are straight. Yet when you talk to transwomen in private or read their blogs, a very different picture appears. Half at least of men who seek out transwomen far from being straight or anything close, are closet autogynephiliacs (AGP) (and homophobic to boot).

We would not expect honesty from these men about this; after all, look at the lengths they go just to deny their own sexuality and maintain a false façade of hetero-normativity. Their words may be taken with a moderately-sized bucket of salt. But what about the girls? Why do transwomen ever lend credibility to this falsehood? Why don’t they just call these guys out from the get-go?

Crocodiles in denial (no elephants)

It gets worse. These men —  so deep in denial you’d think the crocodiles would have got them by now–insist on the highly offensive suggestion that everyone else who likes transwomen is like them. Oh they’re so straight they’re straighter than a very very straight thing indeed, with a load of extra straightness thrown in for good measure — or that’s what you’d think, listening to them.

I am, sadly, old enough to remember when being ‘straight’ meant you didn’t smoke dope or drop acid, and had fucking appalling taste in music. I never identified with that. ‘Straight’ just means ‘conforming to the socio-political and behavioural norms required by society’.

As far as my interest in transwomen goes, even though I relate to them in a completely conventional, hetero-normative manner (i.e. as women, which means that I penetrate them) I accept that I’m not straighter than straight, because actually liking transwomen, sticking up for transwomen and heavens-to-murgatroid being happy to be romantically involved with transwomen (one at a time), falls outwith the cultural norms of Western culture. It just does. We could do with getting rid of a few of these prejudices, but hey, who am I?

So how can a closet autogynephilic homophobe, whose only interest in transwomen is having his arse rogered till his liver squeals, all in the name of satisfying his ‘inner woman’ call himself ‘straight’? Lying, two-faced, deceiving bastard, more like. And then they have the ever-loving nerve to dare to suggest that men like me are just the same as men like them? Nuts. We’re not and we never will be. Lie to yourselves as much as you like, boys, but don’t try to drag me in or I will call you out for the deceitful, manipulative liars you are.


Now, I can understand the porn-meisters, who live off the sale of transgender wanking material, being a bit cautious about calling half their audience raving pink pillow-munchers with sincerity issues, but why do the girls put up with their arrant claptrap?

Those who work in the sex trade, serving the desires of these men, can be understood. Their position is the same as the porn-meisters; they cannot afford to alienate the customer. No killing the goose here (and it is a goose, not a gander.)

But many transwomen who are not in this line of work routinely troop out the same apologia: ‘Only straight men like transwomen’. It’s utter bollocks and they will admit it in private. So why the pretence?


I think it has to do with validation. Perhaps the girls believe that if they are open about the fact that most of the men who seek them out are closet AGPs or worse homophobic homosexuals, then people might think they’re not actually women. No smoke without fire, after all, especially since these Lotharios, so desperate to get their arses plunged, clearly do not see transwomen as women, but as a type of male that can screw them without destroying their pathetic house-of-cards of denial. A transwoman’s primary purpose is to be accepted for what she is: a woman. She’s not going to jeopardise that, so she hides the nasty truth and goes along with the parody.

So when transwomen say, ‘You’re not gay if you like transsexuals’, they’re being economical with the truth. It doesn’t necessarily make a man gay, but that doesn’t change the fact that an awful lot of men who chase transsexuals are AGP. But that is a difficult distinction to make, and in a world that jumps on every opportunity to oppress transfolk, sometimes it seems safer not to give the enemy more ammunition.

Nobody ever did me any harm by being gay

These guys can be gay or AGP and I won’t care. Nobody ever did me any harm by being gay. If I dislike a few, it’s not because of their sexuality, but because they’re cunts. They’d be just as cuntish straight, probably more so. But at least, decent chap or slime-ball, they’re honest about what gets their freak going.

What pisses me off about these cock-loving pillow-munchers that pursue transwomen to satisfy their fetish (with full deniability) is their complete, total and utter dishonesty. These men are liars through and through and they should be called out at every turn.

2 Replies to “Elephants in the Room (and Crocodiles)”

  1. The number of guys I have dated who only real interest with a transgender is to have “…his arse rogered till his liver squeals …” is just too true. Unfortunately, (or fortunately), as soon as I start to switch to this male mode my sexual desire just dies … so does the date. I have learnt to spot these guys and avoid them – most times. However sometimes I know before I go out with a guy this will probably be the case but my own desire to be with and have sex with a hot looking guy overrides my own common sense.

    1. Hello Emily. I was clearly on a rant that day, but I stand by it. For transwomen like yourself, especially in the West, dating must be a nightmare. Stuck between maybe meeting a transphobic homicidal lunatic (who is probably a closet homosexual with homophobia) and the fact that so many men who date TS women are not actually looking for women at all, just a stiff tool between the cheeks. I am trying to educate people but you have no idea how difficult it is; the barrage of lies and misinformation put up by ‘clone’ gays (oh we’re manly manly men, so manly the manliness is just dripping off our manly arses, even when they’re in the air — yes, of course you are, petal) and on the other hand autogynephiles like Bruce ‘Caitlyn’ Jenner…I mean, what kind of straight guy is gonna be attracted? But of course, he retains his comfortable male heteronormative desire for women, and calls it ‘lesbianism’ — despite the fact that to be a lesbian you have to be a woman. (I wonder: do these guys ask their wives before they tell them they’re going to have to turn into lesbians? Oh, silly me, they’re patriarchal males, they just do what they want and everybody has to do along with it.) I am going to do a post about the way autogynephiles routinely abuse, erase and colonise true, androphilic Blanchard HSTS transsexuals, whatever.

      It’s an uphill struggle and the people you might think would be on your side are not. Gay men hate transwomen viscerally for living the dream they would love to but have been conditioned not to and autogynephilic transgenders despise true transsexuals because they show them up for what they are. I spend 5 months of the year in Asia now, where at least things are relaxed and cool and everybody knows what the deal is: transwomen are women in every way except for the matter of their birth certificate. And nobody calls me names just for liking TS women and treating them like I treat other women.

      As a (hopefully) amusing counter to your experiences with the kind of men we’re talking about, I once ended up in bed with a TS who is ‘top’, although I had no idea. (She’d met one of those guys and liked it, unusual I know.) Um, romantic desire evaporated and I had to spend the rest of the night, erm, keeping her off — fortunately she’s tiny but gosh was she persistent. We’re still friends but I avoid getting drunk with her now!

      Anyway, please keep safe and be happy. That’s really important.

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