Transmedia: Anju Thonsamay

Anju Thongsamay

I’ve been researching the available resources both for transwomen and men who are interested in knowing more and meeting them. I have already posted some resources to this category, and will update regularly.

Anju Thongsamay, from Thailand writes an excellent blog at

Anju’s blog is well written and informative. In a recent post discussing whether men should support their ladyboy girlfriends, Anju says: ‘It’s all up to you. I personally believe that work is big part of every human’s life. It makes you busy, teaches you the real value of money’. This is typical of her approach, which is simply to explain the life of a ladyboy.

Anju’s take is refreshingly pragmatic and direct. She’s educated and writes well and informatively. The information she provides is thoughtful and will definitely be useful to anyone seriously thinking about developing a relationship with a transwoman, not necessarily from Asia. Her site is well worth a visit, and she is personally very charming and happy to answer questions. Anju regularly updates her blog.

Once again, Anju’s blog should illustrate the fundamental truth that any man, or for that matter woman, who is interested in developing a relationship with a transwoman must absolutely recognise: transwomen are women. Anju says; ‘while we come in all shapes, sizes and types, we’re just women…expecting us to react any different than any other woman (especially to inappropriate comments, questions or behavior) is apt to garner nothing but our ire and disdain.’

Unfortunately, as readers of this blog already know, a great many men who express an interest in transwomen are actually homosexual, and frequently homophobic. They may themselves be autogynephile (that is, sexually attracted to the idea of themselves as women) and are often very predatory. The right thing for men like this to do is to hire an escort to satisfy their fantasies, because they aren’t seeking a real relationship, just the satisfaction of a fetishistic desire.

Transwomen are women and Anju’s writing repeatedly asserts this, in gentle but firm terms. Like anyone else, they have deep and powerful emotions, self-doubts, and pride. Being involved romantically with any woman is a roller-coaster, and the stronger the woman’s character, the greater will be the highs and the lows. Transwomen tend to be very powerful, deep characters. Be aware of this: a relationship with a transwoman will certainly not be anodyne, but full of colour and passion.

It’s a very good blog and I enjoy reading it. Why not check it out?

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