I see a lot of immature, childish videos and web posts denigrating ladyboys and telling men how to spot — and so avoid — them. But why would anybody want to avoid them? Here are ten reasons why dating ladyboys is a really good idea.
1. Ladyboys are red-hawt.
Yes, they are. You find yourself walking down the street behind a ladyboy with legs that go all the way up to her ass and you know what I’m talking about. Every man is scoping her and she knows it. Your blood starts to pump so hard you can hear your own heartbeat and for God’s sake, your dick’s getting stiff.
Ladyboys are, on average, better looking than regular girls. This might sound like the above, but hawtness is not the same trait as beauty. Hawtness is that off-the-scale, animal grunt grunt pure sex reaction.
No, we’re talking about facial beauty here. Ladyboys have, generally, better features. They have that slight androgyny which is always present in real beauty. I mean, who wants an instantly forgettable Suzie Creamcheese clone? Okay, I grant you, the most beautiful natal women in the world are simply stunning, but just how many Angelina Jolies, aged 22, with no kids or significant airhead are there out there? Without heads filled up with feminist pish about ‘career’? And who are prepared to be seen in public with a scruff like you?
Not very many and your chance of even meeting one is roughly zero. But you go to any major city in Asia and you’ll meet squads of girls looking exactly that good, just itching to get to know you intimately — and every one a ladyboy. And even better news is, you can find the same treasures all over the Latin world too, so si habla Espanol, you’re made.
While all these wonders were once the preserve of the traveller, today, even in the sexually fucked-up West and to the absolute outrage of the sex-negative feminist harpies, ladyboys are appearing in large numbers here too. Well, they call themselves ‘transgender’ but they’re actually transsexual and the direct equivalent
2. Ladyboys love sex. I mean REALLY
Yes, indeed, no more of that ‘I’m not in the mood’ bullshit. Ladyboys LOVE SEX. They dream of being rogered till they can’t take no more and they’ll come back for round two in the afternoon. And again in the evening. None of this wheedling and hinting either, while your beloved parapest does her best to ignore your subtle proposal of sex, delivered by taking your dong out of your shorts and waving it in front of her face. No, with a ladyboy, all you have to do is nod, glance towards the bedroom, and game on.
(Yes, there are women out there with a healthy attitude towards sex and ladyboys with a lousy one; but on average, a ladyboy’s attitude is better.)
On first appraisal of you, a ladyboy will undress you with her eyes, the way a man does a woman who attracts him. You might catch her observing you across the bar, or from the other side of the street or the mall. She’ll look you up and down and you know what she feels, that dryness in her mouth, that tightness in her throat — and her pants. And then she’ll stare at you, with all that hot lust, her eyes boring right into you; I mean she’s practically drooling now and it’s like a mesmerising tunnel of sheer lust is connecting you…despite your best intentions of having a ‘quiet night tonight’ you feel that quickening and you know that at the other end of this exquisite pink tunnel, the girl is feeling exactly the same sensations you are…until you realise there is no escape and ask her over.
(Except in a ladyboy bar; there your task is fighting squads of them off long enough to decide which one is going to take your Willy Wonga for a stroll in her playpark tonight.)
3. Ladyboys don’t have periods.
So you don’t have to put up with a week to ten days of sexless misery every month as the prima donna who has taken over your life decides she has to make the entire world as miserable as she is, starting with you. Now I think dysmenorrhoea must be utterly horrible and I sympathise with women who suffer it; but here’s a thing: it’s Not My Fucking Problem, love. And one of the wonders of all MtF trannies is, they don’t get it. Ladyboys are no exception.
4 Ladyboys like to be girls
Something that Western women are being conditioned out of by the poisonous rabidfem hegemony, in a blatant attempt to make more lesbian meat for the LG grinder. Ladyboys aren’t persuaded: they like to be girls. You hunt it, they cook it and then they’ll suck your dick for afters, while looking like an escapee from a pole-dancer convention. Sometimes, if they’ve just taken their hormones, they can be a bit lazy, but ladyboys in general see their role as archetypically feminine, both inside and out of bed. More power to them. There’s nothing quite like a sex-positive, gender affirming ladyboy to drive away the blues.
5. Nobody’s got your back like a ladyboy.
Trust me. No woman will ever back you up against another woman. Not ever. You can forget her coming out of the homestead at the last minute, just as your legs are spread for castration by man-hating feminist harpies, and blowing Butch Feminazi and The Muffjob Kid to hell and gone with a Greener 10-gauge. Best she’ll do is pay lip-service and make excuses for you (!), because ‘muh sistuhs’. A ladyboy is having none of that. Somebody badmouths you, she’ll be in, eyes flashing, giving them a tongue-lashing they won’t forget; and I’ve more than once seen a ladyboy take her high-heel to a man. Very satisfying.
But it goes deeper; there is no feeling on Earth that equals being really loved by a wonderful ladyboy. Every day, in a hundred ways, she’ll show you her love and demonstrate her readiness to go to the wire for you; she has your back, always. She’s your right hand, your shield and buckler and I do believe a ladyboy who loves her man would throw herself between him and an attacker, no matter the consequences. And all you have to do is love her back and not cheat. (Which makes it ironic that so many men, having found an Earth-bound angel like this, end up sticking their dicks in some money-grubbing trollop or another and spoiling the whole deal. Sigh.)
6 Ladyboys know how to dress the way men like women to dress
See here’s a thing: very few women can dress, and it’s even worse now than it used to be. You know, if I’m taking a girl out, I like her to be showing plenty of leg, a decent amount of bosom and looking like a cross between Isis and Helen of Troy with her arse on fire meeting a K-pop bimbo band. I expect every other man to be giving her that look, then that look of resentment at me when she pulls close, telling them, ‘You can fuck right off, mate, I’m taken.’ That makes me feel smug. Cock-blocking is soooo satisfying; the only thing better is les-blocking.
7 Ladyboys have better bodies than women
Strange but true. Ladyboys, as long as they haven’t gone overboard on the silicone, look like teenage girls, lithe and nubile, but they’re legal. Men are hardwired to be attracted to exactly that kind of look; ladyboys score big-time. Most ladyboys don’t carry as much fat as women, so their bodies have better definition, too.
So if you like slender, leggy, gorgeous girls with asses tighter than a gymnast’s there’s only one place to go.
8 Ladyboys understand men.
This is a bit of a mixed blessing, but hey. It means your beloved will instantly spot the covert little look you gave that hot girl you kinda fancy but don’t dare touch (because you want your dick to remain attached to your body) so that’s a downside. But they know exactly how men think and they can be remarkably sympathetic. I mean you can’t blame women for not understanding men, they’re not male; and whatever feminists tell you, sex and gender are not constructs, they’re real. Ladyboys are male, so they got it covered.
Never try to lie to a ladyboy, she’ll see through you instantly. But them being mind-reading cats does have many advantages. It can make you very close.
9 A ladyboy can’t have babies.
Look, I know how it is. You’re a young guy and you have some weird fuck-ups about sex. You’re encouraged in this by the feminists who have polluted every form of media. But here’s a thing they don’t want you to know: sex is for fun. You put the fun parts of your body in touch with the fun parts of somebody else’s. That’s it. There’s no moral dimension to the act of sex; it’s just pleasure. Doesn’t matter if you pay for it or not — after all, you pay every other kind of entertainer. And with a ladyboy, you can have as much fun sex as you like and there is absolutely no risk — ZERO — of her coming the ‘Darling I think I must have forgotten my pill because I’m pregnant’ line. Now I love kids and I have made my share; but if you’ve already done your bit for the species, or you don’t want to, then that sort of shit is a major PITA. Can’t happen with a ladyboy.
If you do want a family, though — and they are wonderful things — a ladyboy makes a fantastic mother, so you can just go and adopt a kid or two. I know several ladyboy single mums and some couples who have done just that; they’re all very happy. Saves months, too.
Of course, the alternative, which is more frequently found, is the labyboy pet menagerie. Try to keep this down to dogs and cats and maybe goldfish or similar. A house full of weird and exotic wildlife is no fun after the initial amusement wears off. If you’re going down this route, by the way, do establish who is responsible for cleaning up the inevitable first.
10 Sex with a ladyboy is better
Sorry, you can forget everything you’ve been told, it just is. A ladyboy who knows what she’s doing and has her ass muscles under good control can give you more mind-blowing sex than the Whore of Babylon and a hundred nubile courtesans all at once. You’ll just keep wanting to come back for more. And even though it’s a bit weird, there are some guys out there who like to be penetrated and, clearly, a ladyboy has the tool to do that, if that’s your bag, and if you can get her to agree to it. (Most won’t, outside p4p.)The rest of us just have to content ourselves with the most astonishing ass sex there is.
See, a ladyboy (and this includes the post-op ones) has a prostate gland, and stimulating that produces what is known as the anal orgasm or ‘assgasm’. If you’re particularly big, or she hasn’t had sex for a while, it might take her a few tries to get over the initial discomfort of having your John Thomas in her escape chute, but once that’s all sorted, KAPOWIE!
It’s usually best if she straddles you, because she knows exactly where her anal g-spot is and how to get your dick to massage it to climax; failing that, a good pounding in missionary with her legs over your shoulders usually seems to do the trick. Fireworks have nothing on it and watching a beautiful babe, her cock hard as a rock, completely losing it on your dick, while her insides do things to said member that your mummy NEVER told you about, is la creme de la creme, man. Once she’s had one of those with you, she’s going to want a lot more — and so are you.
Now what about 10 good reasons not to date ladyboys? Sorry, I can’t help with that; there aren’t any.
If you want to read more about why dating ladyboys is a great idea, read this:
Also published on Medium.