Okay. So, maybe you just woke up after a wild night, looked over the bed and there beside you, happily dreaming away without a care in the world and looking as though butter wouldn’t melt, was a ladyboy; or, if you prefer, a transsexual. Possibly you’re just considering doing this. Maybe you did already, liked it, and are wondering about yourself. Maybe you’re in a relationship with a ladyboy and still confused. So I’m going to answer the question, ‘Am I gay for having sex with a ladyboy’?
This is a pretty popular question, as you’ll see from a casual Google of the terms, but almost none of the answers make any sense. They’re either written by people who have no experience of transsexuals, ladyboys, bonecas — call them as you will, they’re all the same — or they’re written by people with a hidden agenda, trying to promote a particular political point of view. Continue reading Am I gay for having sex with a ladyboy?→
Gender fluidity has come much under the spotlight recently. It has been suggested that there are ‘thousands of genders’, ’98 genders’, that ‘gender is a spectrum of gradations’ and even that it doesn’t exist. Yet if you walk down the street in any part of the world, you will see two genders. So how can this be?
This baffling conundrum is what you get when people don’t do enough research. In fact, BOTH the binary model and the gender-spectrum model are valid; but their relationship is being wilfully misunderstood.
In large parts of the world, but best documented in South America and Asia, the principal gender division is not between men and women but between men and ‘not-men’. I have referred to this in other pieces and it was well described by Prof Don Kulick in his 1996 book ‘Travesti’. Continue reading Men, not-men and neckbearders: a gender conundrum→
In the last few years the terms transgender, transsexual and transvestite have become more mainstream than anyone could have thought a scarce ten years ago. But along the way they have become distorted and confused. So we need to look at them again and define what the words transsexual, transgender and transvestite actually mean. Continue reading Transsexual or transvestite, not ‘transgender’→
Just to go over some ground regarding the thorny subject of non-trans autogynephilia (AGP) again, I thought I’d illustrate it with this charming chappy. Let me introduce Dave Muscato. As you can see, Dave is a man, and a dapper one at that. But Dave wants us all to believe he is a woman and call him madam. Dave even believes that just saying he is a woman causes his naughty parts to become girly ones. (See here for the first article on this topic.)
Now I grant you, this sort of fuckwittery could only come from the land of everything stupid, that carbuncle on the arse of civilisation known as the United States of USica. This is a place, where, apparently, 25% of the people think the sun revolves around the Earth, over 50% believe said Earth was created in six days by a flying fart on a cloud (question: how was there a cloud before the atmosphere was created? Oh, never mind) and an unknown number of fuckwits, er, people, think that just saying so can change your birth sex organs from male to female.
Autogynephilia is the primary stimulus for all non-homosexual male-to-female transsexualism. The original Blanchard definition was ‘a man’s propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought or image of himself as a woman.’ Others have defined it as, ‘love of oneself as a woman’. But not all men with autogynephilia present as women. They exhibit non-trans autogynephilia. They are important because they shed light on both MtF transsexualism and male homosexuality.
Non-trans autogynephilia at first seems paradoxical, but in fact, Blanchard predicted it. Amongst his possible types of autogynephilia is ‘behavioural’. In this, the man’s reward is not necessarily from dressing as a woman or from having a woman’s body parts, but from behaving as he thinks a woman would. In non-trans autogynephilia, one expression of this is a desire to have sex as a woman — in other words to be penetrated.
However there is another, much less well-known, sexualised reward available to the non-trans autogynephilic man. It may occur either with the desire to be penetrated, with others, or alone. This reward is that of being accepted as a woman. Continue reading Non-trans autogynephilia — a vital clue.→