Humour, Rod Fleming's World, Page 2

29/08/2023

Gateways to Heaven: Ladyboy bars

Originally posted 2018-10-08 06:42:21.

Ladyboy bars in Thailand are real gateways to Heaven. They are overspilling with femininity and the girls are all so eager to please. It’s a matter of staying calm long enough to choose the right one — or two. They’re always up for a threesome.

If you don’t know what the inside of ladyboy bars are really like, then I advise you to correct this with as little delay as possible. I hope this little video will help you visualise the legions of feminine — and available — angels of loveliness that populate these gateways to heaven..

I found the video below a few years ago and decided to re-edit it to Billy Idol’s ‘Rebel Yell’. It’s an all-time favourite and frankly, is far more in tune with the passionate yelps of a toothsome young ladyboy in bed than the music the video originally had!

Please check out my post ‘Ladyboys in Pattaya’ for some information useful to the gentleman who seeks the pleasure of ladyboy company.

You’ll need a ‘guest-friendly’ hotel, if you don’t use one of the ubiquitous short-time hotels which are, by definition, open to customers bringing along a girl or three. Although generally, budget hotels are fine, it’s probably better to avoid those run by farangs. I have to say, with regret, that the only time I’ve ever had any real issues with ladyboys in bars, restos or hotels in southeast Asia, it has been in establishments run by that species of bigoted Australian male who would, frankly, have been better left as a stain on his mother’s bedsheets.

This link is an excellent resource, detailing the guest-friendly hotels in Pattaya. If in doubt, email or call before booking as some may be cool with natal girls but not with ladyboys. Which would somewhat defeat the point, I fear..

29/08/2023

Ladyboys are like hobbits: travels with a ladyboy

Originally posted 2018-10-04 09:07:50.

Ladyboys are like hobbits; they have big feet. Although, and fortunately, not usually hairy.

My dearest and truest friend, my distant confidante and beloved adopted sister, Andie, is sitting on the brown vinyl sofa in my rented condo in Pasig. She has delicately hoisted the hem of her long floral skirt with one hand and with the other she is holding one of her slippers — flipflops in Filipino — against her leg.

‘Ugh,’ she says. ‘You see? My feet are longer than half the length of my shin.’

She drops the slipper and the hem and takes to regarding her feet with evident distaste, elbow on knee, chin cupped in her hand. She wiggles her toes.

‘I could possibly cut them off,’ she muses. ‘I should cut them off.’

Continue reading “Ladyboys are like hobbits: travels with a ladyboy”

29/08/2023

Tryst on Februar Fowerteen – A Scots Allegory

Originally posted 2014-02-14 20:16:57.

A fell cauld wind wis sauchin ower the muir as the bonny wumman gart her wey tae tryst her jo. For the necht wis Februar the fowerteen, an aabody kens at’s the necht for luve.

She wis winsome eneuch, tho the first blush o youth, it maun be said, was left ahent her a lang while syne. A body mecht hae speirit at himsel how comes a lass o sic natral attractions hidnae been wad this mony a lang year.

At last she reached the spot ablow an auld aik whaur she an her jo hiv met this necht mony mair years nor either of them wad care tae hink on. Her jo wis aaready there, a puckle fashit, ye mecht hink, wi the wye he wis stridin up an doon, his een flashin faniver he luikit up.

“Ah, here you are, at last,” he intoned, as the lass presented hersel.

Featured Image: Restenneth Priory, Forfar, Angus, Scotland. Pic by Rod Fleming

Continue reading “Tryst on Februar Fowerteen – A Scots Allegory”

29/08/2023

Poaching the River

Originally posted 2021-03-02 13:15:20.

An action-packed tale of love and life, humour and romance, played out by an unforgettable cast of characters with genuine Scots voices, Poaching the River will make you laugh and cry out loud.

It’s a quiet afternoon in Auchpinkie, a tiny fishing village on the east coast of Scotland, and in her Corner Shop, Mae and her cronies are setting the world to rights.

Suddenly a furniture van draws up outside one of the houses along the street. A beautiful young woman is moving into Etta Swankie’s old house. But no-it can’t be-that’s Rae, Etta’s daughter, and Etta always swore she’d disinherit her!

Over the next few days the action races to its riotous climax, as Big Sye, Rae’s cousin, poaches the River Pinkie in a daring adventure, the village public convenience is destroyed by a freak explosion, and the parish minister is baffled by the sudden religious conversion of two formerly heathenish young lads.

Behind it all a spider’s web of intrigue is woven, as the villagers conspire to get Big Sye and Rae together. But there are things going on that none of them ken, and secrets that only Rae’s old friend Izzie knows…

Print ISBN: 978-0-9554535-0-2