A Bonfire of English Vanities

Originally posted 2016-11-07 11:50:16.

On Saturday it was Bonfire Night in Blighty. Yes, that spectacularly English version of the traditional festival at the onset of winter. While the rest of the world has Samhain, Hallowe’en, the Day of the Dead and others, the English celebrate a failed attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament, otherwise known as the ‘Gunpowder Plot’.

Thirteen men, led by one Robert Catesby, smuggled 36 barrels of gunpowder into the vaults under the building. On the 5th of November 1605, Guy Fawkes was arrested attempting to light the fuse.

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The English Don’t Wear Kilts

Originally posted 2016-10-05 12:56:05.

I have begun wearing kilts again. I used to do this years ago but, erm, passage of time rendered them, uh, too small. Alack, the Fleming waistline now oscillates between 36 and 40 and those distant days of 32waist/32leg are long since departed. However, last year I bought a few more and now I wear them pretty much every day. And when I’m not wearing the kilt, I wear tartan trews.

Now what could possibly have spurred this aberrant behaviour? A sudden dose of ‘alt-fashion’ in the old fool’s noggin? A passionate longing for the owld country? Simple homesickness? Senility?

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Scene from an Imaginary Western

Originally posted 2016-07-05 13:38:24.

In the little white-painted town of Santa Westminstera, havoc had broken out. The town was ruled by two gangs of ruthless bandits. But both of these had begun fighting amongst themselves. The rule of the bosses had collapsed and anarchy reigned.

In an adobe house in the main street huddled one of the last remaining families.

Little Angelina was cuddling into her grandfather’s chest.

‘Oh papacito, what will become of us?’ she sobbed.

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The Brexit Mirror — cracked from side to side

Originally posted 2016-08-12 19:01:00.

The Brexit mirror cracked from side to side under the weight of simple, sheer reality this week.

The fissure in the Brexit mirror began to appear when Norway’s Foreign Minister told the world that no, the UK could not re-enter the European Free Trade Association (EFTA) just because it fancied the idea. The UK was a founder member of EFTA but left as a condition of joining the then EEC in 1973. Re-entry, however, would require unanimous approval from the remaining members and Norway is agin the idea. It’s not the only one to show reluctance.

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Swivelly-eyed Brexit panic.

Originally posted 2016-07-29 12:56:04.

The first signs of widespread panic amongst the UK’s hard-right, swivelly-eyed Brexiteers have begun to appear.  In our last Friday Politics we pointed out that Brexit, as promised by the triumvirate of swivelly-eyed-ness, Johnson, Gove and Farage, is dead. It can’t happen. Now that realisation has got through to those whose eyes  are usually so swivelly they can’t read a Daily Mail headline.

They’ve figured out that they were blindsided (it’s the swivelly eyes) and they’re livid. Beside themselves. Last Friday, probably after he had read my piece,  Bill Cash, a person whose eyes are so swivelly we wonder how he drives to work, broke the ranks. ‘Brexit must happen,’ quoth he.

B-b-b-but Bill, is there any doubt? Surely…I mean it’s only been a month since the Phony Referendum

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Brexit is dead.

Originally posted 2016-07-22 12:20:01.

brexit-dead
Last month the UK voted to ‘Brexit’. It will never happen. Here’s why.

Tweet: A month ago, the UK went to the polls and voted to leave the European Union. Today, #Brexit is dead. What happened?

The reality that Brexit could not be delivered became apparent even in the hours after the result. Why did David Cameron, the then Prime Minister, resign? He didn’t have to. He had fought a solid campaign and had been honourably beaten. He had said that he would not resign whatever the result.

Cameron probably realised that he could not deliver the result that had been asked for. His departure was the first indication that Brexit was already on life support. Continue reading “Brexit is dead.”

Who Governs Britain?

Originally posted 2016-06-30 12:02:50.

Who governs Britain is the question we must now answer.

One week ago, the British people voted in favour of leaving the European Union.

The voters gave their opinion. That is all they did. But by doing so they provoked a Constitutional crisis for the United Kingdom, which may yet turn into an existential one. The question is no longer about Europe; the question today is simply ‘Who governs Britain?’

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