Stand up and be counted

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My partner, Angelica; a transsexual woman

I am in a relationship with a transsexual (TS) woman. This places me in a position of responsibility, because my girlfriend, like all her sisters, is in danger. Transsexual women are abused, insulted, and disrespected; but worse, they are beaten, falsely arrested, harassed by authorities that should protect them and frequently murdered.

This means that men like me must stand up and be counted.

Although on the surface, things are getting better, the improvements are largely cosmetic and there are misconceptions still. Many of these confuse the public understanding of what transsexual women are, for they are all too often conflated with fetishistic transvestites like Bruce ‘Caitlyn’ Jenner, who claim to be ‘transgender’, or, on the other hand, with ‘gay men’. The former — a tiny minority — have so dominated the media that it has become commonplace to think of a transsexual as being a middle-aged man in a dress with a wife and children. Nothing could be further from the truth: true transsexuals (Blanchard HSTS) are never attracted to women, because their feminine sexuality is what makes them transsexual; and they are clearly not men.

Most of the trans-attracted men I know are not gay. Essentialist issues like the nature of genitalia do have validity; for example in the lesbian rejection of fetishistic transgenderists, neatly symbolised by the ‘Cotton Ceiling’ fiasco. But trans-attracted men are less concerned about this essentialism than about gender. This probably has to do with differences in male and female sexuality. Whatever, men like me do not see the presence of a penis on our lover as making her any less of a woman. Gender, not genitalia, makes the girl.

‘Gay’ may be acceptable as a term of inclusion, but not when social conservatives use it as a term of abuse or the regressive Left to enforce conformity to their notions, and both of these are commonplace.

LGB people cannot simply ‘claim’ trans-attracted men as part of LGB. We’re not. We do not accept a role or position within that umbrella because we are not part of it.

Straight trans-attracted men, whether it is liked or not by either right-wing social conservatives or ‘left-wing’ homonormative orientation police masquerading as ‘Queer Theorists’, are straight. That’s it, and we will not be lectured to by academic refugees from reality who tout their philosophising as if it were fact from the ivory towers of tenure that they occupy.

I don’t give two hoots what religionard or other ignorant conservatives think of me or call me; but the attempts from within the LGB community to call me something I am not are alienating, and while this does not damage me, it damages my partner, and others like her, by also alienating potentially supportive men and by driving love between men and women into the shadows.

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Jelly’s first boat ride

Furthermore, we see through it; this claim is asserting that transsexual women are a category of gay man. That is pure essentialism. What we find attractive are gender markers, not sex ones. We find pretty faces, sexy smiles and nice legs hot and they turn us on. Lesbian feminists may bitch that transsexual women, in their pursuit of conventional feminine beauty and complete adoption of feminine gender, betray feminists who would like to see gender removed altogether; but since most ordinary women pursue exactly the same gendered path as transsexual women, it is unfair — and probably pointless — to single the latter out.

The essentialist claim that trans attracted men are not ‘straight’ is a deliberate attempt to bring such individuals under the control of gender-conforming mainstream gay culture and ultimately to erase their distinct identity altogether, in order that they may be put in their places amongst the rank and file of cloned homonormativity. Most such men would laugh this off, the notions of the LGB ‘community’ not being of any importance to us, but denying the legitimacy of their partners is a direct attack on the very existence of transsexual women. We, the straight partners and lovers of transsexual women, do not accept this attack, nor will we have any part of it.

This attempt to erase a group of individuals because they do not conform to essentialist notions neatly illustrates the iron-fisted totalitarianism of ‘identity politics’ which says that one may adopt any identity one likes, as long as the authority group approves of it; and, of course, the most despised ‘identity’ of all is that of straight white man.

It is not to be wondered at that this diseased mindset comes from the United States of America, the most rigidly conformist culture in the developed world. It demonstrates that ‘identity politics’ is nothing more than group coercion and the suppression of the individual. The relentless attempt to shoehorn people into ‘identities’ that someone else thinks they fit — regardless of their own desires — tells us all we need to know about ‘social liberty’ in that benighted place.

For far too long we have heard how transsexual women must change to accommodate society’s prejudices. Reparative therapies have been inflicted on them with the support of religiously-motivated quacks like Paul McHugh, and Ken Zucker tried to condition transsexual teenagers into gay boys, to set them up for a lifetime of miserable self-denial. Meanwhile the mainstream gay culture looked the other way or even abandoned transsexual women.

They are routinely beaten, harassed and killed, and, when heteronormative religion and culture is taking a break from abuse, they are erased and their lived experience colonised by fetishistic transvestites, those ghastly simulacra of women. And when Jim Fouratt denounced transsexual women as ‘crazy queens who would destroy the way gays lived their lives’, he articulated the underlying truth about ‘gay men’: that they are no more than women in denial, desperate to hang on to their tattered comfort-blanket of pretence and utterly terrified that it might slip and their precious secret be revealed.

As one true transsexual going under the name of ‘Androphile’ put it, ‘If gender transition was easier, we would see way less gay men and more androphilic {true} transsexuals. The frustrated desire of a gay man permeates his life. All gay men are effeminate but ALL gay men despise femininity. Now, you will turn around and say that you know effeminate gay men in relationships. Those are not relationships. Those are compromises to be less lonely. There is a difference between what people want and what people get. Effeminate gays (ALL GAYS are effeminate) would love to have a straight, alpha male penetrate them, but, because they can’t get him, they fool themselves into thinking that they’ll be content with another effeminate butch queen.’

The truth of this is born out in any visit to south-east Asia, where huge numbers of transsexual women are highly visible. Where transition is easy and such women have a social space they can colonise, they are obvious.

The confection of lies and fantasy that is Western ‘gay culture’ is exactly what Fouratt was trying to protect, and he was right: the very existence of true TS women and straight men who love them undermines the whole concept of the ‘gay’ movement, which is, as another transsexual put it, all about ‘women pretending to be men in order to have sex with other women pretending to be men’. Why would someone do such a thing except for relentless social pressure to conform? And how bitter must it make a ‘gay man’, as he watches his married partner grow bald and fat and his ill-fitting suits wear out just as his own do, to see a beautiful transsexual woman living exactly as he would have wished to, if only, if only…?

At the same time as the ‘gay’ male movement was throwing transsexual women to any wolves it could find, the Western face of ‘transgender’ has been hijacked by fetishistic cross-dressing men like Bruce Jenner. These are not true transsexuals, but because they are loudmouthed male bullies who know how to manipulate the media, they have all but erased those who are, at least in the broader public consciousness. This has only served to drive true transsexuals in the West further underground and, consequentially, thousands of men who are attracted to them to seek their partners outside the West, where the vile duopoly of ‘gay men’ and fetishistic transvestites has not succeeded in erasing true transsexuals.

Within the rigidly homonormative Western ‘LGB’ culture of today, feminine men and masculine women are ostracised in favour of a bizarre narcissism where everyone loves a clone of themselves. Because this culture sees TS women and their lovers as something they are not, it expects them to sign up and be erased. At the same time, male autogynephilic transvestites, who remain heteronormative, heterosexual men under their dresses, deliberately shame men for their desires, as if these horrors were attractive to us in any way at all.

We don’t want to be a part of that and we shall not; we will not be subsumed into the clone mentality of mainstream homonormative LGB culture, nor will we be shamed for loving the women we do by a group of 100kg linebackers in frocks swinging Vuitton handbags and sporting size 15 heels.

People will just have to accept true transsexual women and those of us who are attracted to them, as we are. That means it is up to us, the men who love and support them, to fight alongside our partners for recognition and fairness.

Transsexual women have a long history, going back to before the invention of writing, and persist in all cultures, everywhere. They are not going anywhere, nor are their lovers. Learn to live with us and stop trying to fit us into boxes of your invention, and we’ll get along just fine.

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Copyright 2016 Rod Fleming’s World

4 thoughts on “Stand up and be counted”

  1. Good for you Rod. We are with you. The world must change and it will only do so thanks to brave souls such as you.

  2. Why do you care so much not to be mistaken for gay? is this part of the internalised homophobia we talk about Agp’s having? why does it matter? your relationship is what it is but its not straight. So what? penis is not female. penis is male. So what? Your partner is a transgender male and you love each other. i’m not sure what point you’re trying to make.

    1. I don’t understand this question. In the first place, the girl referred to in this piece is a transsexual (Blanchard HSTS) and not ‘transgender’.

      Secondly, by definition, to be a homosexual male is to be attracted to masculinity. The men attracted to transsexuals are not. At the same time, transsexuals avoid relationships with homosexual ‘men’ except where finance is involved. They regard them as lesbian in nature, since they rightly identify gay ‘men’ as being sexually women.

      Relationships between men and transsexuals (not transvestite AGPs, who are ‘transgender’, if they are anything) are strictly male/female in terms of both social and sexual roles. This is often policed by the girl, because of her aversion to homosexual partners. These are straight, not gay, relationships.

      The modern USican notion, that both partners in a relationship where both are born male, are homosexual, was only invented some 45 years ago. It is without foundation and has led to the joke of the ‘New Gay Man’, the sexual woman pretending to be a man. It is a function of misogyny and homophobia; a political convenience with no real meaning.

      It is fascinating to watch as the accommodationist New Gay Man fights for survival against the rising numbers of transsexuals (HSTS, not AGPs) in the West. For decades, New Gay Men, assisted by people like Ken Zucker, have been bullying and conditioning young transsexuals into thinking they are men, in order to provide fresh supplies of meat. Payback is a bitch.

      This is the root of the falsehood you would like to propagate. But no straight man would enter into a relationship with another man; only a gay man would do that. Since in fact and despite their lies, New Gay Men seek above all other to be penetrated by straight men, the conniption falls apart.

      No, men who date transsexuals are not gay and few are even bisexual. They like beautiful, young, feminine, sexy girls. They like to buy them dresses, take them to dinner and hold open doors for them. They like kissing and for the girl to slip her arm under theirs. They like the fact that other men stare, with their covetous eyes, at the gorgeous partner they cannot have. They are usually older and have no desire for children. They are quite happy to deal with fucking a hole that is slightly further back and indeed, most will be active seekers of such anal pleasure; with a pre-op transsexual, you’re on to a sure thing.

      That is pretty much a definition of a straight relationship, unless, as I said in ‘The Warm Pink Jelly Express Train’, you have a problem with anal sex.

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