The appearance of an autogynephilic transgender in the household has massive consequences for the whole family. Very few of these are positive and not many families survive the event. Yet there is very little information or assistance available to the wives and families who are the victims. This is because autogynephiles themselves have campaigned to see this event as positive, the ‘final liberation’ from the shackles of a life lived, against one’s will, as a man.
Before going further, let’s quickly recap. Autogynephiles are the most common male to feminine transgenders in the West. They are quite distinct from the classic transsexual, or HomoSexual TransSexual, who are characterised by a powerful attraction to men from childhood, associated with Gender Non-Conforming behaviour.
Dr Ray Blanchard first properly identified and described Autogynephiles and the condition that affects them: autogynephilia. His research remains the most solid and well supported explanation we have.
Autogynephilia appears to begin around or soon after puberty, in otherwise normal boys. They will not have been effeminate children, nor will they be homosexual. Often they were a little withdrawn and they might struggle harder to be successful as boys, apparently because of this.
After the onset of real sexual feelings, at the point at which most boys begin to masturbate (and they do), something happens. Autogynephiles, or AGPs, become sexually attracted to themselves as women.
Nearly all of us will be familiar with the idea of imagining sexual fantasies in order to climax. During their fantasies it is normal for men to imagine sexually attractive women and to project, mentally, the idea of sex with them, onto these images. (Gay men do exactly the same thing but their preferred image is of males.)
These fantasies progress beyond simply imagining an image of a sexual target. The man begins to have the image act out a role. Usually, this is a good indication of what the man finds most erotic. It might be anal sex, group sex, oral sex — or plain old vanilla missionary sex. It doesn’t matter. The point is that the man animates characters in a sexual cameo that is going on inside his head and so lives out whatever fantasy he desires. So he is playing all the roles. The characters with whom he interacts in fantasy have no existence at all in the real world.
So let’s suppose he begins to like what is happening to a woman character in these sexual fantasies. Let’s say he tries to imagine what it might feel like to be that woman, being penetrated. He has a fantasy of, say, double penetration and, instead of focussing on the male roles, he explores the female one and begins to wonder what this would actually feel like. Remember, he is the puppet-master: he animates all the players. Usually he projects himself into the male characters. But suppose he, in his interest to find out what his female character is experiencing, projects himself into her instead?
Sex is a massively powerful reward system, and if our man climaxes while he’s doing this, he will want to do it again. And again.
Thus is born an autogynephile.
Soon he will be furthering his experimentation. The male characters in his sexual fantasies will become but props. Indeed, they may disappear altogether and be replaced by women.
Why is this? Because autogynephiles are frequently androphobic (they hate men) and as a consequence, homophobic. This is likely the reason why lesbian porn is popular amongst males and why the models never look like lesbians: they are just fulfilling a fantasy for a man so repulsed by the idea of men that he can’t tolerate them even inside his sexual fantasies.
As a result of this, autogynephiles play the role of women in sexual fantasies where all the players are also women.
At the same time, in real life, the young AGP will often find that he prefers the company of girls. He may well be strongly empathetic towards women — which is a good thing. But the girls and women around him, certainly in the classic Western profile, will have no idea that they are featuring in sexual fantasies in which he also plays a woman. So his empathy is ultimately self-serving: his relationships with women are the source material for the fantasy characters he is developing.
Similarly, if he has sex with a woman — AGPs are not noted for promiscuity as men, but this is still important in the hierarchy of male society — he is likely to imagine this as a lesbian relationship. His penis becomes, in fantasy, female. This, of course, is why an ‘out’ autogynephile can be so horrified if a real lesbian refuses to have sex with him: ‘But it’s a girl penis! You’re just being transphobic!’
Now at this point, the Western and other profiles diverge sharply. In the West, the young AGP will, typically, become confused. He won’t think he’s gay — he has no attraction to men — but his burgeoning pseudo-empathy with women is beginning to be noticed. His family and peers might think he’s gay — and remember, many autogynephiles are homophobic, viz Bruce ‘Caitlyn’ Jenner.
How autogynephiles react
The Autogynephile reacts by hyper-masculinising his outward appearance and behaviour. He might become good at sports (Jenner is an Olympian) or other masculine activities. He will probably gravitate towards a ‘masculine’ career — the military, engineering, perhaps even journalism — and he will be good at it, because he is powerfully motivated to succeed, in order to prove how masculine he is.
An autogynephile will likely have beautiful girlfriends; his pseudo-empathy makes him less threatening and his shyness will seem endearing, while his focus on appearing to be masculine makes him attractive. Her mother will adore him. He probably will marry young; the couple will have children soon after.
All the while this is going on, however, the private sexual fantasies are becoming more intense. As his quotidian character becomes more resolutely masculine, so his fantasy characters become more outrageously feminine.
Erotic Target Location Error
In his teens, the AGP will probably fix on one of his imaginary characters, which becomes the dominant focus for his sexual attraction; he may only ever have had one. He will probably give her a name and an identity. She will like to dress a particular way — usually in stereotypically ‘feminine’ style that would not be out of place in a strip-club. She might have what he thinks is an exotic, alluring feminine name. But he IS that person. She exists only within the AGPs head.
This is an Erotic Target Location Error or ETLE.
Most of us have erotic targets outside ourselves. We love our girlfriends, wives, boyfriends. We may love many or few; but the point is, they are other people. An autogynephile is sexually and romantically fixated on a person that exists only within himself, that he has created and nourished. It is the defining characteristic of autogynephilia; if you don’t have this ETLE, you can’t be autogynephilic — and all autogynephiles do have it.
Sooner or later, the AGP begins to want to realise these sexual fantasies. This is perfectly normal. Most men fantasise about particular acts before broaching the issue to their partners or finding one willing to comply. But for the AGP this is complicated by two things: the first is that in his fantasies, he is a woman, and the second is that he is already in love with her.
Autogynephiles live their dream
So what to do? Make her real; live the dream. The AGP begins to cross-dress.
Not all AGPs do this. Some keep their mental menagerie of bawdy women, of which they are one, inside their heads. But most cannot. They will begin to experiment in two areas: appearing to be feminine, and behaving as they think a woman might, in sex. They will dress up in women’s clothes to satisfy the former and penetrate themselves with objects to indulge the latter.
This phase may continue all of the AGP’s life. Quite possibly, given that AGPs are extremely devious and good at concealing their natures, nobody will ever know. But they have a problem.
The pseudo-feminine character they created, who is now the love of their lives and whose character they inhabit as often as they can, is nourished and strengthened by sexual reward. She is becoming more powerful and as she does so, more demanding.
The stronger the AGP’s male sex drive, the more quickly the second personality will develop and gain control. We know this link between male libido and autogynephilia exists because if the condition is treated with powerful anti-androgens, it disappears ; this is probably why autogynephiles report a lessening of their symptoms when they begin feminising hormones, which, of course, are anti-androgens themselves.
At around this point, the AGP will begin to ‘purge and binge’ as his conflict with his second personality becomes more intense. When he is in charge, he will purge — that is, get rid of his wardrobe of women’s clothes and his collection of dildos and other toys. When she recovers control, she will binge — going on a spending spree and buying it all back. This cycle, as it becomes shorter in duration and more intense, can literally bankrupt the AGP.
Can autogynephiles escape?
Unfortunately, for many autogynephiles there is no escape. Sooner or later, the host will collapse under the pressure. The parasitic pseudo-feminine second personality, that he has been so lovingly nurturing, perhaps for decades — fifty years in Jenner’s case — will take over.
That is the moment when the autogynephile announces to family and friends that he is now to be known as Sophie-Sasha de Trieste, that everyone must call him ‘her’, and that she is not just a ‘real woman’, she always has been.
Of course, from her point of view, this is true. She was created as a woman: the mental locus of an adolescent male’s sexual lust. Over the years she has evolved into a separate, fully functioning personality, who is absolutely — and understandably, given her origin — convinced that she is a woman. Her male creator has been destroyed and will only be allowed out when she needs a man to protect her — usually from ‘transphobes’ who refuse to recognise the authenticity of her claim to womanhood.
Otherwise he is reviled, her slave, imprisoned forever; he has consumed himself. Effectively, as far as the real people around the AGP are concerned, he is dead.
Also published on Medium.