Baklas, sex and motorcycle maintenance

I’m at the local motorcycle repair shop where Sherwyn, a most competent mechanic and pleasant cove, is replacing a brake master cylinder on the Blaze. He first thought to replace only the seals, but he can’t find the right size. A new cylinder is 400 pesos, just under six quid, an unwell encephalopod. I just tell him to get on with it. Sherwyn works in the open space outside a motorcycle parts shop, where he seems to buy most of his stuff, although, as today, sometimes he has to go further afield. While I wait I sit on a wooden bench in the shade and observe the street life. Baklas soon begin to appear; it’s like they’re in the woodwork.

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Three phases of baklas

I notice three baklas crossing the road towards me. One is a somewhat conventional-looking but cute boy, another is flaming, with pink and silver dyed floppy hair and pink hot pants so tight they could cause varicose veins; and the third is a full longhair ladyboy. I guess they must be about sixteen or seventeen tops, they don’t look older. The longhair spots me and smiles but silver hair pulls her away before even optical communication can be made; giggles all round and they all start glancing at me. Western men are bakla magnets.

I watch as they walk, heading towards Kanto, a mile up the road. They look like a nice bunch and the longhair is pretty, wearing sprayed-on jeans that show off her legs and bottom nicely. She’s about five foot three, with luxuriant black hair, but has no boobs yet. Is there a phase between ‘batong baklas’ and adult ladyboys? She epitomises it.

They disappear from view — three lovely bottoms in a row, wiggling in time — and I reflect on choices. These are, clearly, homosexual males, transgender at that. They are all, naturally, highly feminised. And together, they exemplarise the phases of the bakla, you might say; from gorgeous, transitioned ladyboy to highly feminine boy. Three phases, just like the moon and the Goddess. Yet each and every one of them would say the same thing: ‘I’m a girl inside.’ There is absolutely none of the faux masculinity of the Western New Gay Man. Baklas here accept their transgender status, even if they appear almost completely sex conforming.

 

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Baklas transitioning

But why do some baklas transition fully and others less? All of these three are obviously baklas; two are instantly recognisable and the third would pass as a girl, were she not in their company. Not one of them looks even vaguely masculine. Why the difference in presentation?

Much of it is to do with social pressure. There are certain jobs where sex-conforming appearance is either required or helpful; there are not too many longhair bakla doctors or lawyers.

I wonder about the girls passing me in the street, now flashing me highly suggestive grins. Have they already decided their career paths? Or is it parental pressure? The fact is that silver hair might as well transition tomorrow, she looks so unconvincing as a male I wonder what the point might be. From behind, all three look the same; bottoms like two plums in a sock, each and every one. I smile to myself. I shouldn’t be surprised if silver hair sees the light and transitions; the third I’m less sure of, but I would hazard a bet on it.

You need to understand that baklas are not penniless paupers. Well, some of them are, but it’s usually their own fault. In Filipino culture, baklas are always expected to have money, and the more feminine and beautiful they are, the more is expected. How is this happening?

The answer, in part, is in the legions of men, all over the world, who are happy to send them money in return for companionship and maybe some cyber-sex. But to get that money they have to be beautiful, or at least, beautiful to the Western eye. Shemale pornography is a hugely profitable business in the West and years ago it branched out into live cam-sex. Successful performers can do very well indeed, but they may run into problems with the authorities here, because cam-sex is technically illegal. Persuading men to ‘sponsor’ them, however, is not. It’s a long-distance relationship and so what if the parties jerk off on video with each other?

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A bakla in Cebu

I have a bakla friend from Cebu, now in her early thirties, who did not transition until she was twenty-eight. She’s fully homosexual and always was, recognisably so, like silver hair in this group; so why wait so long? Well, she’s a registered nurse. To be a nurse, then at least, you had to appear sex-conforming. Kind of. Eventually, she could no longer stand the constant gender dysphoria that was caused by presenting as if she were a sort of man, gave up nursing and transitioned. Now she works as a model and pageant performer and, needless to say, has a coterie of online male admirers, all over the world, who regularly send her money. She makes several times more than she did as a nurse and has invested in her own house. She is, in addition, utterly drop-dead gorgeous, with the body of a twenty-year-old girl. Perhaps she was lucky; her sexual inversion is so complete that it was hard to believe she was male, even with short hair and a man’s uniform. She always looked like a girl dressed up as a man for Halloween. Now, after three years on hormones, it’s almost impossible to tell; in fact, I only can because I knew her when she was a boy. Transitioning was not only the correct thing for her to do psychologically, it was also a smart career move for her; and she is by no means alone.

Does it bother me that girls are able to do this, or that they transform their bodies in order to? Not a bit. The nonsense of the Western New Gay Man, that faux-masculine parody, does not wash too well here, where boys who want men are universally recognised, by the society and themselves, to be girls. Why fight it? It’s understandable when keeping a good job means pretending to be a man, I suppose, but when you can make far more money as a woman, why bother? Own it, sister; what’s so special about being a man anyway, especially in a matriarchy? And as for the men in far-flung foreign lands getting their rocks off and sending money, well if they are daft enough not to realise that this is an act, a performance, and that the love being expressed for them is as real as Peter Pan’s ability to fly, then it’s their look-out. If baklas here were not servicing that market, other transgirls from all over the planet would be. Why should baklas not take a share? Transpinays are amongst the most beautiful transwomen anywhere, they’d be mad — and it would be most out of character — for them not to capitalise on that.

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The fraudulent New Gay Man

When you realise that the Western New Gay Man is a total fiction, a blatant lie, along with all of her self-serving ‘queer theory’ and understand that being fucked, submitting totally to a man, makes a boy into a girl, then it all becomes clear. These baklas are girls. They are ‘women inside’ because they want men and they literally become female whenever a man slides his erect penis inside their willing, submitting bodies. Whether or not the three passing by have actually experienced this yet is unknown; but it matters little, for the desire is there.

The Romans were right. Our beloved, bedicked baklas are their pueri delicatii. And all over the world, except in North America and northern Europe, that understanding remains unchanged. It is Western culture that is wrong, that is the outlier. Everywhere else, feminine homosexual males are a type of woman, and to deny this is seen for what it is: a ridiculous absurdity. Of course they are female — and not just feminine or feminised, but female. The act of sex reaffirms that female-ness every time they a man pushes inside them, stretching that ring of muscle. It’s like bolts and nuts; there’s a male part and a female part and the male enters the female. So if you are the part being entered, you are female. Question answered.

I’m not talking here about chromosomal sex; that can never be changed. You will always be what you were conceived as, like everyone else. Nor am I talking about the touchy-feely ‘I feel like a woman’ delusion of the Western autogynephilic male ‘transbian’. I am talking about the metaphysics of sex, of the act itself. I am talking about the sweat, the sublime pain, the exquisite agony, the transformative power of complete sexual submission; of being fucked.

In anal sex, the recipient partner is totally emasculated. There is nothing left of manhood or masculinity. And what remains when we take these things away? The female. I know the New Gay Man has lied to you about this, but it is a cheap, self-serving untruth. It was dreamed up as a front, because of the Western horror of male femininity. But what is that horror? Homophobia? No indeed; it is transphobia. It is a horror at the idea of men becoming women; and the New Gay Man is himself but an expression of that transphobia: a boy who is really a girl pretending to be a man. No more abject silliness could be imagined.

But here, he has no purchase. He and his lies and slick conveniences are stymied by something much stronger, something much older and more visceral, an understanding that goes back thousands of years, probably to the beginning of human culture: that being penetrated makes a man into a woman. He becomes female.

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What about autogynephiles?

Now, I reflect, in the shade, sitting on my bench, this does cast an interesting light on those autogynephilic transwomen who seek to be penetrated by men. Technically they are called ‘pseudo-bisexual’ but in the local context they are often exclusively attracted to men. These are relatively few in the West, but much more common in Asia. Does their act of being penetrated, their impalement on the instrument of emasculation, make them women too?

The logical answer must be ‘yes’.

This is something of a revelation for me and I silently salute the three sashaying baklas as they finally disappear from sight. Homosexuality, desire for men by a male, can be innate, that is, present from birth, or acquired. Autogynephiles, here, may acquire homosexuality as a result of being penetrated. Certainly, they don’t all do it, but many do. But if a male homosexual is actually a female as a result of her delight in being transfixed by the priapic member, in the metaphysical sense, then how could it be that AGPs too, are not women, if they are unmanned in the same way? Being fucked doesn’t just ‘affirm them as women’, it actually transforms them into females.

This is one reason, by the way, why surveys suggesting that there are few autogynephiles in Asia are so wrong. AGPs here, consider themselves to be women as a result of their delight in dressing as and acting the social role of women; but they become homosexual, as the word is understood here, through sexual surrender, their physical emasculation, their penetration by a man. So of course they call themselves baklas or ‘gay’; and if you don’t understand that and design in controls to your surveys, then you both display shoddy methodology and your results will be meaningless.

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Cute bakla on washing day

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An MtF HSTS is a girl

The male transgender homosexual or HSTS is a girl; she has sexual inversion as a result of anomalies in hormonal delivery in the womb. She desires to be fucked because she has female sexuality, since it is inverted. Therefore she is, sexually, a woman; so naturally she wants to be penetrated, to experience being ‘nailed to the bed’. But an autogynephile desperately wants to become a woman and every single one of them knows that the only way that she can do that is to be fucked, by a man.

In the West, homophobia, the fear of being considered homosexual, often prevents AGPs from realising this quintessential transformation, so they live perpetually in a weird demi-monde, trying to persuade anyone who might listen that they are actually lesbians, as absurd a claim as exists.

Here in the Philippines, though, as in most of the world, this inhibition does not exist. There’s no real taboo about anal sex. Men fuck them all the time. Just by presenting as a girl, you accept that you are a bakla and your masculine status has all gone. No point in getting all messed up after that horse has fled. This is no big deal; there are plenty of baklas and the culture has a space for them. And, following the local rule that ‘boys go with girls and girls go with boys’ everyone around you will expect you to look for a boyfriend. It is your natural, socially-acceptable role. And you absolutely know that having a boyfriend, having a sexual relationship with him, is not only what you are expected to do, but also will affirm you as a woman both to yourself and to those around you. So you hold your breath and let him in. Congratulations, we hope you’re happy together.

Because of these social factors you are far more likely, than in the West, to seek penetration and if that provides the release and satisfaction that you desire, in other words, transforms you into a woman, then you will keep coming back for more. You might never have the HSTS’ natural enthusiasm for the physical act of sex itself, but you may well become hooked on the affirmative psychological consequences of it and thereby, to the act itself. Sex is the most addictive drug of all.

HSTS are the other way round. Their female nature, their homosexuality, is innate, it is not acquired. They have female sexuality from birth. AGPs can never have female sexuality but they can have a male sexuality so attenuated and emasculated that they become completely androphilic and sexually submissive. In transforming herself, through the act of submission to a man’s penis, in allowing that emasculation, does such a person not transcend her sex? Does she not become transsexual? Certes, this is not at all the same as the HSTS, who is so from birth, but if sexualities can be acquired, why not transsexuality, to coin a word? It seems to me that this must be so. Perhaps an AGP will never have the easy, natural femininity or grace of an HSTS transwoman, but if she transforms herself sexually through submitting to the act of penetration, can we really say that she is not female? Would it not be excessively rigid and essentialist to deny her that recognition?

At least for the duration of the act itself, surely she must be a woman; and, once knowing what it really is to be one, must it not be that her life outside sex is also informed by that knowledge?

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True and Pseudo Transsexuals

Once, homosexual transsexuals were called ‘True Transsexuals’ and autogynephiles ‘Pseudo-transsexuals’. Perhaps that terminology should not so readily have been dropped for the sake of Political Correctness, as it was; it would recognise that both had transcended their sexes, but in different ways.

This cuts across a popular Western definition of the word ‘transsexual’ which relates it to having or desiring to have Genital Reconstruction Surgery, which in males means the creation of a neovagina. But this is essentially a cosmetic surgery and using it to define ‘transsexual’ seems to me unjustifiable. How is a non-homosexual male transitioner, who retains a heteronormative sexual desire for women and has never submitted to the domination of the phallus, nor has any intention of doing so, rather insults men who might find him attractive (as a woman), calling them ‘chasers’ and ‘perverts’, a woman, whether or not he has a fud installed? These are delusional men, not women in any sense at all and they do not transcend their birth sex; so they are not transsexual. We might allow them the term ‘transgender’ which they seem to like, but in reality they are transvestites, fetishising the appearance of ‘woman’ while never accepting the reality of sex as a woman, which means being fucked. The neovagina they have installed is just another modification to the ‘woman-suit’ that they have made of their bodies; they will never use it to accommodate a man, although they might use it to gaslight their wives into thinking they are lesbians. No, I do not think they merit the term ‘transsexual’.

If there is to be a category ‘transsexual’ then, to me, it must imply an inversion of sexuality in some way, either innate or acquired. No autogynephile will ever be as naturally feminine as an HSTS; but perhaps she might be a sort of transsexual, if she goes through the rite of passage that is being penetrated. Innate transsexual and acquired transsexual, perhaps?

Thoughtfully, I resume my people-watching. I do a lot of this.

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Another bakla passes by

I spot another ladyboy, this time with her girlfriend. Both are dyed blonde. The ladyboy is pretty, but skinny and angular with slender hips and the girl is curvy and voluptuous with childbearing ones: classic Filipina, more curves than a blancmange and just as wiggly. This pair is definitely a couple, too. They’re showing that telling intimacy of body language, even though here in the Philippines, overt PDAs (Public Displays of Affection) are frowned on.

The girl catches my eye and instinctively turns towards me — don’t let anyone fool you, Pinays are strongly attracted to older Western men — but her companion pulls her away, laughing, her tongue-in-cheek scolding evident. There’s a word for what she just did: cock-blocking. The ladyboy knows very well that her girlfriend might like to dally with a Western man, but she’s having none of it. So she’s warded off my one-eyed weapon of war and its implicit intentions on her squeeze, with a demonstration of her own possession of the girl. It’s actually quite sweet.

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A lesbian (left) and a ladyboy bakla in Plaridel, Bulacan

Autogynephilic ladyboys — that is, those who remain attracted to women — are common here, but those who are prepared to be seen with their girlfriends in public are relatively few, though I see increasing numbers.

 

Scary baklas

A little later I get up to stretch my legs and another bakla appears. This one’s a longhair, but she’s not so pretty. I’d guess about forty, maybe five foot four, much overweight, with hairy legs exposed below her shorts. She gives me an arch look and, like a coward, I just smile back in the most anodyne manner I can muster. It’s amazing how quickly the proud, manly obelisk of maleness can shrink into a timid little mouse, when confronted by such an apparition; and this one has the obvious air of a would-be man-eater. She was originally heading for the self-service laundry next door but she has definitely adjusted course towards me.

I am rescued in the nick of time by Sherwyn, who wants me to test the repaired Blaze Stealth. It’s fine and I make good my escape.

This story is an extract from my next book, provisionally titled Travels with a Ladyboy

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